Youth Group
by SKRowling
Summary: This is so Taboo. So wrong, and so right. we can't help it we love each other. A JORI Story based on my real life observances. a little nervous about posting it but it just seemed interesting. Completely AU.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Okay so I am a Christian, so whatever. I just went to church this Sunday and sat in the row where a bunch of youth group girls were sitting and there were two girls there, sitting very close to each other. At first they were texting each other, then they kind of leaned in close and whispered to each other. It wasn't anything different, but then I noticed their hands. They held hands. Fingers interlaced and I was riveted. Got me thinking… What if Tori and Jade had met at church instead of H.A.? That kind of forbidden fruit thing at church was kind of intriguing to me. So I wrote it. Review! Don't be shy.**

**Tell me what you really think. – S.K.**

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**Youth Group**

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**Welcome**

I so don't want to do this. Really, I'm not into making any friends. But now that Joanne, My mom, is single and moved us half way to the other end of the world. I mean we might as well be in the back woods of Alabama. The suburbs of D.C.? Really?

She said she wanted to work with the State Department forever. Bull she just wanted to get away from my dad and Jodi his Jail-bait trophy wife. Which is fine, But there is no Arts high school in Northern Virginia, that I don't have to drive an hour to get to. She put me in Governor's school I guess that is cool, it is a gifted program which only accepts the top three percent of the country. I didn't know I was that talented.

The only other thing was, that I had to leave my boyfriend Beck and all of my friends behind. Mom is also going through this spiritual awakening. She found this church. Don't get me wrong I love Jesus, but she says I need to make friends with the kids at church. Church? Those kids won't get me.

It was Wednesday, I stood outside of this church. Just staring at it. There were all these little kids and teenagers running around. The adults greeted each other. They were having some sort of dinner there. I walked in behind Jo, and avoided eye contact with any of these people. "Hi Holly!" My mom said greeting a lady kind of youngish looking. Frankly she was the fittest looking adult in the room other than my mom.

"Hi, Jo… Is this her?" This Holly said looking me over. I was forced to make eye contact. I smiled a little and shook her hand.

"Yes this is Jade," My mom said introducing me. "Holly and David Vega went to school with me in LA."

"Hi," I said softly looking around the fellowship hall at all the new people that were going to look at me and think I was a total freak.

"Nice to meet you." Holly said with a warm smile, "Are you going to be joining the Youth group tonight?" she asked.

I shrugged, "I guess."

"Great! Tori and Trina would love to hang out with you!" Holly pointed out two girls at the table with the rest of the teens. One girl was yammering on about herself, making the rest just look at her bored.

I smiled at Holly and excuse myself and head for the bathroom. Some one walked in behind me. I looked at her through the mirror and she smiled. "oh hi! I'm Tori."

I smiled back politely, "Jade."

"Are you joining Trinity?" she asked

"Trinity?"

"Our youth group. It's a lot of fun, sit at our table for dinner!" she said and headed for a stall. I didn't really want to pee, I just felt awkward here. I watched her come out and wash her hands. "Dinner is gonna be great. You came on a great night, We're having Pizza from Italioni's so good."

I followed her out of the bathroom and to the youth table. There was this HUGE guy called Randy. He was a little like a red neck. With his trucker hat on and sweat shirt with shorts on. I mean come on, shorts with a sweatshirt? There was this girl Cat, and her man Robbie. The princess and the nerd. Andre he was cool and one of three black faces in the church. His sister and grandmother being the other two.

Randy took a shining to me right away. He came up to me in line for our pizza and introduced himself. He tried to flirt, it wasn't working. I raised my brow and just regarded him coolly. "what are you some sort of Goth or something." He asked looking at my hair which had streaks of blue in it today. My make up was dark my clothes were black.

What the hell did he think? Truthfully I wasn't goth, I just liked the look. It made me look edgy, and I had an advantage to looking this way in LA. Here in VA I stuck out like a sore thumb. "Who made you fashion maven Randy?" I asked. "That sweatshirt makes so much sense with those shorts. And the flip flops, sweet… it's October. Aren't your feet cold?"

He was embarrassed and turned beet red. I turned to the ladies behind the counter and asked for a slice of peperoni pizza and walked away to the Youth table. Tori sat next to me and looked at me. 'That was not nice."

I returned her gaze. "Did you hear what he said to me?"

She smirked, "I didn't say it wasn't cool, I just said it wasn't nice."

I raised a brow, "You bad girl."

She shrugged, "God has a sense of humor." She said simply taking a bite of her pizza. By the end of the night, Tori had convinced me that I should join Trinity, and the youth choir, and to try out for the play they were putting on for Christmas. Jo was thrilled because I was making a friend. Not only that, I made a friend with her friend's kid. I couldn't say that I wasn't happy to make a friend in Tori. I went home that night Excited about youth group and couldn't wait 'til Saturday for the auditions.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: without animosity, these two get along really quickly. This is all about fluff. So if you please… Review! Don't be shy.**

**Tell me what you really think—S.K.**

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**My Heart Skips a Beat**

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Tori spent the night with me the night before the audition for the play. We talked and laughed all night. I wouldn't have been surprised that we bombed those auditions because of lack of sleep.

She sat next to me in my bed and placed her head on my shoulder. "Have you ever dated anyone?" She asked me softly.

"Yeah, I'm kinda dating someone in Cali." I said softly. I didn't know why I didn't want to say anything to her about Beck. I loved him… right? The only problem was that her head on my shoulder was making me light headed, because my heart decided to have a marathon.

"Kinda?" She asked looking at me; she was still really close to me.

"I… yeah… He's…" I stammered. I looked at her eyes and I turned my head. The look she gave me was intense.

"How far have you gone?"

"What?" I asked

"You know… what kind of stuff have you done with him?" She asked trying to signal at her body.

"Well… stuff." I answered, "Normal boyfriend girlfriend stuff."

"So of course you make out, " Tori said, "what else is there?"

I blushed a little and kind of shrunk back. "Not much else really." I answered

"Did you ever like go down on him, have you had sex?"

"Whoa… hold on there Tori." I said, this is supposed to be a Christian girl. "Not going to tell you that."

"Come on." Tori said. "I live vicariously through my friends. I am so on a lock down I am not even allowed to date. I have had a few friends that have done it and they tell me these things and I am so jealous."

"You're not allowed to date?" I asked.

"I haven't even kissed anyone out side of my family, how thrilling is that?" Tori said putting her head down on my lap now. I start to run my fingers idly through her long brown hair. "I am afraid I won't know what to do when it happens."

I laughed at that. "Are you kidding?"

She looks at me seriously, "No, Why would I lie about that?" She asked. "I'm sixteen years old!'

"Sweet sixteen and never been kissed. How sad for you." I said looking down at her.

"I used to practice on my hand." I laughed again this girl is funny.

"How?" I asked, "Show me!"

She made her hand into a fist then kissed the hollow between her thumb and forefinger. I followed suit trying not to laugh to hard at her and trying to feel like she felt. "Then I would stick my tongue in between there…"

It was over I howled in laughter now. Tori took a pillow and buried her face on my lap. "Oh Jesus, Tori that's hilarious."

"Are you done laughing at me yet?" She asked taking the pillow from her face. "Besides I haven't done that in a long time."

My laughter subsided a little and I managed to make a statement between chuckles that completely threw Tori for a loop. "That feels nothing like having a mouth on yours."

She just stared at me for a second and came up on her elbows. I stopped laughing, because of the intensity of her stare. With her right hand she reached the back of my neck and pulled me in. Her lips pressed into mine, soft and insistent. _ This is wrong,_ I thought. _I have a boyfriend…_

She and I pull apart and stared at each other. "You were right…" She whispered and slid off of my lap.

"Umm… yeah." I said. "Good night." I lay down next to her; our backs to each other. It was several minutes of silence. I didn't move a muscle; I think I may have just lost my only friend in Virginia. I turned my head to look at her when I was sure she was asleep.

"What's his name?" Tori asked. I raised a brow and considered the question. I knew whom she meant. I knew why, because without a name Beck was just an idea. She was trying to control herself. But seriously, if God wasn't enough to stop you from doing what we just did, knowing my boyfriend's name was not going to stop you either.

"Beck." I answered; she didn't say anything for a long time. She turned to face me. We were nose to nose almost. She stared into my eyes for a long time. She had a question in hers so I answered it. "He looks sort of like you, except he's taller and more muscular." Yes Tori, you're just my type. Beautiful.

I guess my eyes told her my thoughts, because she blushed a little. "I'm sorry… It's just, you have really pretty eyes."

"Don't worry about it." I answered. "I think you're really pretty, so I didn't mind so much."

She chuckled a little, "I can't believe I kissed a girl… and liked it." I smirked and lay back on my back. She followed suit. "And she didn't even mind it."

I sang trying to lighten the mood.

_**I kissed a girl and I liked it**_

_**I hope my boyfriend don't mind it…**_

She laughed and sang the next part.

_**I kissed a girl just to try it…**_

_**And I liked it!**_

We laughed together. "Tori that was so corny."

"I know right." She chuckled, and then she turned to face me. "I have never met anyone like you."

"What do you mean? I'm not that weird." I said.

She reached out and ran a finger through my blue streaked hair. "You are so edgy, but soft at the same time."

"Soft?" I asked raising my pierced brow.

"Not in a bad way… Just soft in all the right places." Her hand leaves my hair then strokes my cheek. She takes a deep breath and pulls her hand away with an awful lot of effort. As if it hurts her not to touch me.

I reached for her hand and just hold it interlocking our thumbs pressing palm to palm. She smiles satisfied. "Do I kiss as good as Beck?"

I blushed a little, "I don't know; his kisses are different."

"Like you do different things?" She asked I nodded. "What do you guys do?"

"It's hard to explain," I said softly.

"Show me," she said and before I could react she brought her lips to mine. I parted my lips, and then licked at her lips shocking her mouth open and I taste her willing tongue. Her hands tangled in my hair and she wrapped herself around me bringing her front flush with mine.

I didn't want her to think I didn't like this. I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable, but I am a little bit uncomfortable because our interlocked thumbs were twisted uncomfortably between us. So I slowly brought my free hand from behind her neck and down her back to her hip and squeezed. Then I moved my hand to her rear and patted it a little. Her breath hitched and she arched back a little bit. I went up on to my elbow and disengaged from her as gently as I could. I looked at her hooded brown eyes and smirked at the dazed expression.

She took my hand and brought it to her chest. I had felt her heart pounding when she was against me. I mean who wouldn't react like that to a kiss that hot. I know my heart skipped a beat. "Oh… I understand Beck now." She whispered.

I lay down facing her again. We were nose to nose, because really after what we had just shared made us more intimate friends than we meant to be. There was no going back now; we had to keep each other's secret from the world. "I have never had a friend like you either." I whispered as we pressed our palms together, and our foreheads came together in a mutual understanding of our Best friend relationship status.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Okay filler chapter… I was listening to music… that always brings inspiration. So here you go. Review! Don't be shy!**

**Tell me what you really think. – S.K.**

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**Auditions**

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"I don't know any religious songs!" I said to Tori when they told me I had to sing.

"Jade what did you expect it is a musical." Tori said. "Just sing any song you know that is not like super I don't know… raunchy or something."

"God Tori," I said putting my head in my hands. "Do you have sheet music?"

"NO!" Tori said and smiled. "Okay, give me your pearpod." She said taking it from me. She picked a song and paused it. "This song is okay, it's not exactly about sex or death or anything heavy it's light and slow and you should be able to follow it because it is the song that is most played on your most recently played song list."

I knew which song she meant. I sighed, and she was right it wasn't overly sexed… but it reminded me of what my night was like last night after our impromptu make-out session. "Fine… " I put the left ear bud in and put the pearpod in my pocket.

I walked to the piano and hoped my ears didn't fail me because I would be playing this one strictly by ear. I did a few practice bars and got into the groove of the song and started the song over on the Pearpod. "Okay I'm ready." I said and I played.

_**It's late and I'm feeling so tired  
having trouble sleeping.  
This constant compromise  
Between thinking and breathing.**_

Could it be I'm suffering  
because I'll never give in?  
Won't say that I'm falling in love  
Tell me I don't seem myself  
Couldn't I blame something else?

I venture to open my eyes and I looked out at the group of kids in the pews. Mainly I look for Tori as I sing the next line.

_**Just don't say I'm falling in love…**_

I play a few more bars and close my eyes again because I am loosing my concentration._  
_  
_**Some kind of therapy  
Is all I need  
Please believe me  
Some instant remedy  
That can cure me completely**_

_**Could it be that I'm suffering  
Because I'll never give in?  
Won't say that I'm falling in love  
Tell me I don't seem myself  
Couldn't I blame something else?  
**_

Another kid started strumming his guitar along with my playing with me. I was grateful because I needed to stop playing. I looked at him and signaled for him to come to the stage. Then I stood up and sang with all the emotion the song carried for me.

_**Just don't say I'm falling in love  
'cause I've been there before and it's not enough  
So nobody say it  
**_  
_**Don't even say it  
I 've got my eyes shut  
Won't look, oh  
No, I'm not in love**_

I opened my eyes and looked over at Robbie with his guitar and smiled gratefully. Then Andre had jumped up and sat at the piano when I got up out of my seat and took over what I had been playing. I sang the chorus again looking at everyone. I felt like I was back at Hollywood Arts.

_**Could it be I'm suffering  
because I'll never give in?  
I'm falling love  
Tell me I don't see myself **_

_**Good enough for something else**_**  
**

I was elated; I was so glad Tori picked this song. I signal for Andre and Robbie to stop playing and I look out to her, my best friend and sing.

_**Just don't say I'm falling in love  
Falling in love**_

I drop the mic and turn to give Robbie and Andre big hugs. "Thank you!"

"That was sick girl!" Andre said looking me over. I blushed a little bit.

"Yeah, " Robbie said.

"Uhmm…" the director said. "That was lovely… " She looked over at her daughter "Your turn."

Tori had a smug look on her face and she hugged me tightly when I sat next to her. "You were awesome." She whispered.

"You are lucky I still had that sound in my head from last night and this morning, or else I wouldn't be able to play."

"You play by ear?"

"Mostly, that's why my eyes were closed, and I had the ear bud in."

"I wasn't expecting you to play… Just sing. I knew Andre would have picked up on it… he plays by ear too… he is starting a band."

"Excuse me!" Came from up front where the director was standing. "We respected you through your audition, please respect others."

"Sorry, My bad." I said and headed for the bathroom. I sat by at the sink. The bathroom is like a true haven for me. I can separate myself from the rest of the youth, except for Tori of course.

" It doesn't really matter how well you did Jade." Tori said coming in behind me, and sat next to me. "Both Cat and I sing pretty well and we always ended up as background people. She doesn't want anyone else to shine."

I looked at her and smiled softly. "You wanna make your little light shine?"

"Ah so you do know a religious song?"

"Yeah if you call yourself showing off a religious song. I mean listen." Then I sing the children's song.

_**This little light of mine**_

_**I'm gonna let it shine**_

_**This little light of mine**_

_**I'm gonna let it shine**_

_**This little light of mine**_

_**I'm gonna let it shine.**_

_**Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine…**_

"See it's all me, me, me… no mention of God anywhere… at least not unless you know the whole song… which I don't." I got a text message from Beck just then. I groaned and put my phone away again.

"Who's that?" She asked. I looked at her and raised a brow. "Sorry, I mean… I told you I live vicariously through my friends. I have no love-life, and I want to know about everyone else's."

"The text could have been from my mother." I said.

"You would have also responded to your mother."

I laughed, "Girl you don't know what I'd do."

"I know you feel guilty about what we did last night." She whispered. "And not because today we're at church talking about it."

"I…" I start but I don't have the words.

"It's why I watched you toss and turned all night, and heard the sound of Corinne Bailey Rae all night long." I shook my head, was I really that easy to read. Tori barely knew me. She ran her fingers through my hair and looked into my eyes. "You never thought you could move on here and now, you don't really want to leave." She whispered.

I shook my head, "I have never had anyone else… I was never planning on it either."

"And you're thinking I was so sure when I gave my body to him that I would never give my body to anyone else…" she exhaled, "As if doing that would make your bond stronger now that you had to be apart. When all it really did is make the bond weaker because you did it for all the wrong reasons."

I looked at her, how did she know I wasn't a virgin? "How?"

"You didn't exactly deny it when I asked you last night. It was a wild guess."

"You are one twisted sister Vega." I said walking out of the bathroom annoyed. I marched outside of the church to the playground. She followed me without a word.

We sat down side by side on the swings. "You shouldn't worry and feel guilty that you cheated… because you didn't." But I did, because I hadn't stopped thinking about her since. God forgive me but my heart ached for this girl. I loved her and I couldn't.

I looked at her; she reached for my hand. Then I got another text from Beck and looked at it.

**Beck: Call Me**

**Beck: I miss you**

I contemplated answering in text, but I needed to talk to him. I dialed the familiar number. He picked up on the first ring. "Hey…"

"Babe, I miss you so much!" Beck said

I smiled and walked away from Tori, but not before giving her hand a reassuring squeeze. "I miss you too." I said, "I made a friend…"


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Well I know the ending to the last part may have been a little confusing as to Jades reaction, but it will become clearer here. This is in Tori's POV which is great cause I have never written her in love with Jade before… Just for my TANDRE's. I like putting myself in Jade's shoes, but Tori is in a unique position of being such an open minded Christian having been completely indoctrinated in her faith. She is just dying to break out of her shell. Jade is different from anyone she has ever known, and more honest than all her Christian friends… except of course Cat so we got to see what she is thinking. So please review!**

**Don't be shy!**

**Tell me what you really think. – S.K.**

**Oh by the way, Disclaimer: I always forget this… but I will never forget that VicTORIous is Dan's baby. And I want to be its mamma.**

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**What have I done?**

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She squeezed my hand and walked away from me to talk to that boy. He was so lucky, and he didn't even know how much. I could hear her talk. I didn't want to leave but I did want to give her some privacy. So I put in my ear buds and resumed playing the last song. Beyoncé's voice came through, replacing that of Jade's.

_**Baby it's you.  
You're the one I love.  
You're the one I need.  
You're the only one I see.  
Come on baby it's you.  
**_

I could imagine her saying that to him. I sighed because that hurt so much to think about. But why? It didn't make any sense. Sure she made me feel so comfortable. And I have this strange attachment to her. Oh, and that kiss the night before…

_**You're the one that gives your all.  
You're the one I can always call.  
When I need you make everything stop.  
Finally you put my love on top.**_

I looked up at Jade a few yards away she was talking to him as if she was telling him all of her pain and how much she hated it here by my side. I bit my lip. I knew that she kissed me, but that didn't mean she was about to give up her man! She'd shown me a picture of him that morning, and oh my god he was hot.

I had to make sure to ask her what it was like with him. I know I'm disturbing. But I'm sixteen and never even had someone hold me, let alone do me. I know it's freakish, even though Jade swears to me that it isn't that uncommon at all. All the sixteen year olds I know have done that and more.

"Well you're Christian, it's normal for a Christian girl, believe me." Jade said to me. The only girls I knew were Christian; my only friends were in the youth group. I am partially home schooled and go to a private Christian school. When I told her that she said. "My you're a freaky thing… There are more un-kissed Sixteen-year-olds than you think. Even non-Christians. You need better friends."

Well, now I was excited. Because I had been begging my mom to enroll me into public school so that I could do Governor's school. I had auditioned the year before. She wouldn't let me, I don't know why; I guess she thought I'd go insane… I guess she didn't know that my Hormones were already running wild. So she said no, that is until she found out that Jade goes to the school in my neighborhood. I start on Monday But Jade doesn't know yet. I hope I have classes with her.

I looked up at Jade. I got a little thrill at the prospect of going to school with her. Her back was turned to me and I took in her Dark brown hair with blue streaks. Her slender shoulder peeking out of her black shirt. Her slim waist encircled with the be black, silver studded belt, the shape of her butt in her black skinny Jeans and her blood red boots … Oh My God…

_**Baby it's you.  
You're the one I love.  
You're the one I need.  
You're the only one I see.  
Come on baby it's you**_.

I love her… I want HER. I don't really want to know about that guy and her, I want to know her. Her person, her body, her mind… God… Forgive my heart… but…

_**You're the one that gives your all.  
You're the one I can always call.**_

Wait a minute… Is she crying? She's crying. I got off of the swing ran toward her. That boy made her cry. What happened? I sat on the ground beside her and wrapped my arms around her.

_**When I need you make everything stop.  
Finally you put my love on top.**_

_**Baby, 'coz you're the one I love...**_

I just held her as the music hit its crescendo in my ear. I suppose I may have been singing the song out loud. To soothe her. It isn't like that wasn't exactly what I was feeling at that moment, but it was so inappropriate. I am guessing she broke up with him and here I was singing a song about how much in love someone was. Did it feel insincere? God I don't know. I wanted to stop, but she stopped crying and she was listening. So I kept going.

_**You're the one I need.  
You're the only one I see.  
Come on baby it's you.**_

**_You're the one that gives your all._**  
**_You're the one I can always call._**  
**_When I need you make everything stop._**  
**_Finally you put my love on top._**

She kissed my neck and I looked toward the church entrance. We were pretty hidden where we sat so I turned my head and I kissed her again. I pulled the ear buds out and tangled my hands in her hair. I tugged at it, and we separated. I looked at her gorgeous blue eyes that had me so insane and wiped the tears from them. "What happened?" I whispered.

"I really like you a lot." She said between sobs. "At this point I don't care what the bible says but it bothers me a lot."

I laughed and I hugged her and I cried. "You broke up with him?"

"For you," She cried. "And I'm sad because it doesn't hurt as much as it should."

I laughed again through my tears and I kissed her She kissed me back tangling her hands in my hair. Then it started to rain. We pulled apart and let the rain soak us a little before we decided to go inside.

We giggled a little as we made it inside. The rest of the youth group sat around at the tables in the fellowship hall. Cat, Robbie and Andre Ran over to Jade and I immediately. "They just put up the cast… JADE beat Elsie out for the lead." Cat said with a smirk.

"We all beat her out so bad she didn't even get a speaking part." Andre laughed. I laughed at his glee. Andre cannot stand her at all.

"Wait… all of us? Even Trina?" I asked.

"Well… at least Trina can act… even if we don't let her sing alone." He said with a shrug.

"Wow…" My girl said rolling her blue eyes. They were so incredible she had me mesmerized even if her make up was smeared all over her face. "What did they decide there was going to be a good play this year or what?" Jade chuckled.

"I guess so." Robbie said, "but you guys came back in in time because she was threatening to re assign your parts if you didn't come back."

I jumped with glee and hugged Jade close. She held me back briefly and dropped her hands. I didn't drop my hands; I kept her tucked under my shoulder. She shifted a bit uncomfortably but she didn't push me off. I am affectionate. So my friends did not see what Jade and I knew to be true. Andre, my best friend other than Jade who by the way goes to Jade's school, was always complaining that people were going to think we were dating because I was always hugging him.

"Victoria, Please keep your hands to yourself!" Mrs. Symons the director said coming back into the fellowship hall. I rolled my eyes and pulled Jade to sit next to me at a table. I held her hand under the table and placed my head on her shoulder.

Jade shifted uncomfortably, and she reached out to my side and tickled it making me jump up and take my head off her shoulder. I looked at her; she rolled her eyes and smirked. "Jade… you have the lead. You will have to be here every rehearsal, and there are three solos for you to learn. Do you have the time for that?"

She shrugged then nodded taking her script and her assignment. "Victoria, you and Cat are playing the Students along with Andre." Mrs. Symons continued, "Robbie you play Jade's husband." Jade looked at Robbie and just looked relieved that it wasn't Randy. "The rest of you are chorus."

After that she dismissed us and Jade offered to take me home. I jumped at the chance to be with her some more and hopped in her car. "What time do you have to be home Tori?" She asked before she pulled out of the parking lot.

My heart beat faster. I was so sure that she wanted to spend some time with me alone too. "Six… but I can say that we want to go to the mall or the movies or something."

She looked at me and smiled. She picked up her phone and looked through it for a bit. "Have you seen Mission impossible?" She asked. I nodded my dad and I are action buffs. "Good, tell them you are taking me to see it, and we'll go to the movies and pretend to watch."

"Have you seen it?" I asked her.

"No." She answered pulling out finally.

"Don't you want to see it?" I asked

"No," She continued. "I have no interest in it, I don't really like Tom Cruise."

"Then why are we going?" I asked. She looked at me letting her eyes roam from my lap to my eyes. Then when she stopped at the stoplight she leaned in and kissed my lips softly. "Oh."

She chuckled a little, and I blushed. "You won't have to live vicariously through anyone, anymore to know what making out is like."

"No… no I won't." I said with a huge grin on my face. I had some one to hold me and kiss me and even though they say it's wrong, I don't think God would have brought her to me to be so cruel to me. "No I won't."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: My inkwell is dry… but what can I say? My uncle died this morning of a brain aneurism. Really sad, He was my grandma's youngest and only son. Descansa en paz Tio Cirito, que vallas con los angelitos! Yeah I speak Spanish! :) Anyway, I wrote this it took me three days, so I hope you like it. This is more like a filler chapter. So anyway, Review… don't be shy.**

**Tell me what you really think. – S.K.**

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**Raw**

I'm still kind of raw. Beck was devastated, and I really hated being the one that made him feel like… well Shit. But I had to tell him what I was feeling, and that it wasn't fair for him to wait, or whatever.

I feel so guilty, first because I moved on so quickly, and I was happily leaping head first into this new relationship. Second, because it's a girl… from my church… I'm going to hell. I had never thought much about hell, but now I thought about it all the time.

But God loves me right? He loves me, and how could he let me want someone so much that was not right for me? I don't know I just… I sighed in frustration as I got out of bed on Monday morning. I saw Tori the day before at church. The youth group hung out and stuff before service then we all kind of sat together and listen to the sermon. Tori and I sat huddled together and texted each other on our pear phones.

It kills me that she is so affectionate. She likes to touch me a lot. I am so not used to that with anyone except Beck. I mean we sat so close she could have been sitting on my lap. Her head would drop to my shoulder and every once in a while she would interlace our fingers and drop them on to my lap. No one seemed to notice our closeness.

Though I kind of fought it. How could we be doing this at church? But then I noticed her being like that with Andre on her other side and I relaxed a bit, the only difference was that she held my hand palm to palm fingers interlaced, with Andre she just kind of draped her arm over his shoulder. She kept her hands on my thighs but she only dropped her head on his shoulder.

I looked at my bedside clock and groaned. It's six thirty, I better get moving. I jumped in the shower and got dressed as quickly as I could. Tori had me in a good mood, so I decided that maybe I'd go back to wearing the stuff I used to love to wear. I love wearing dresses and freaking people out with my dark make up. They all think I am this serious Goth… I laughed to myself as I pulled on my fishnet stockings. If they only knew I was a church girl… HA! Only one that knows that is Andre. I have English and drama class with him.

I put on my Black ruffled skirt and green shirt. Then on went my black boots and I was ready to go. Mom was already gone; her commute was ridiculously long because of traffic so she usually left at six. I grabbed an apple, headed for my car and drove myself to Brook Point High school… yay. I laughed and rolled my eyes at my own little private joke.

I walked into my homeroom, which is Spanish class. I sat in my seat in the middle of class. That is were I found that it is the easiest for me to concentrate on the teacher and still look cool. I pulled my cell out to text Tori good morning.

**Tori: Hey babe!**

**Me: what are you doing now you lucky home-scholar.**

**Tori: I quit Homeschooling, I wanted to Join Governors school, mom finally decided to let me go I'm starting school today.**

I smiled, I wished she would come to this school, and then maybe I'd have a chance of hanging with someone other than Andre.

**Me: congratulations, you broke free.**

**Tori: Yeah**

**Me: are you at school yet?**

**Tori: Yeah, going to my first class as I text. The school is so big I'm kind of turned around.**

I was about to ask her what was her first class when I heard a giggle at the door. "Oh! Here it is."

I looked up and my heart skipped a beat. I looked around me and both chairs were taken I kind of pushed the chair on my right and the dude dozing on it fell over to the floor. "Tor! Over here!"

She saw me and her face lit up she came toward the seat put her stuff down and hugged me hello. I couldn't help but smile. She was here with me. "Surprise!" She said.

"Wow, " I said smiling. Dude on the floor got up glaring at me. I snarled, "you should give up your seat for a lady." I turned back to Tori. What was she doing in my school?

"This is my neighborhood school too." Tori answered my unasked question. "Mom only let me come here because you were here."

I smiled and took her hand and squeezed it. Then the class started. "I see we have a new student, Victoria Vega?"

"Tori." She said blushing slightly throwing me a sidelong glance as If I didn't know her name already.

"Well Tori, Welcome. " The teacher Mrs. Ransom then looked at me. "You have met a friend already?"

"Yeah, we're … we're best friends." Tori said.

"Then Jade you will be in charge of showing your friend around the school and make sure she gets to her classes." I nodded and took her hand again.

I leaned over and grabbed the schedule she had on her desk, and studied it. I smiled that we had a lot of the same subjects at the same times. They may not be the same teachers, but we would have to walk down the same hallways in most of them. She is in Drama with Andre and I. She is also in our English class.

So the three of us got to sit together a bit. After three days of our new found routine, Andre started noticing some things. Like, Tori staring at me all weird, or the kisses she would give me on the cheek. I know she is super affectionate, and I am not really all that attuned to the relationships going on around me, but this is Virginia… Gay relationships are socially punishable. So He's caught me dis engaging from her a couple of times.

So one day at lunch as Tori leaned in to me and I leaned away just slightly Andre said. "So Tori, how are you liking school?"

Tori smiled widely. "I love it here! I feel so free." I looked at her and smiled softly sliding her leg off of my lap.

"You know, you might need to tone down your love a little. Your girlfriend is uncomfortable." Andre said before taking a sip of his wahoo punch.

Tori looked at him in a bit of shock. "Girlfriend?"

I looked at her and I was slightly amused because I noticed him looking and I all but confirmed the question in his mind verbally. "Yeah, I mean… You don't do me like that."

"Like what?" She turned to me a little shocked. "Do I treat you differently than everyone else?"

"Well I should hope so," I answered. "But I was never one for PDA in the first place Tor."

Her eyes widened as if I had betrayed her by confirming his suspicions aloud. "Jade… " She looked at Andre bewildered.

"It's cool girl, chill… I am an open minded Christian Man… I can handle it." He said and he became my favorite person in Virginia, besides Tori that is. "Just do you. Tone it down though, because school is as bad as church… sometimes worse because these guys aren't just gonna pray the gay out of you. They will try to beat it out of."

Tori's face was a mixture of relief guilt and sadness. She was going to cry, so Andre and I made a Tori Sandwich and just held her for a while. I ran my fingers through Andre's Twists in thanks and he smiled and winked at me. "I owe you big time." I mumbled.

"Yeah you do, you are both my dates to homecoming y'all are gonna make me look like a pimp!" He answered.

I laughed, "You're cute you'll find someone to go with."

"He's not allowed to date." Tori said with a sob. I formed an o with my lips.

"Well okay then, it's a date," I answered. "Pimp."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: oy I know It took me forever to update this and I apologize, it's just so controversial it's hard to write. So this is short and sweet and promises better chapters. a good thought has formed in my head, and I should have something happening here pretty soon. Okay, I also said I'd tell you what I have been reading, so read Madzilla1010's Savior... It is based on a movie that I watched when I was a kid called Splash and I love it, so Check it! But, while you're here, review! Don't be shy!  
**

**Tell me what you really think!- S.K.**

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**Making plans**

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"Tor," I hiss pulling away from her kiss. "Tori, we have been gone for more than ten minutes."

Making out was something we did a lot of. We did it anywhere we could find a secluded spot, but this day we were at church, on Wednesday, with her parents, my mom, and every one else in the fellowship hall eating dinner. We were in the youth group room making out. It was surreal to say the least.

Tori growled and backed away taking a deep breath. "We have to go out." She said mainly out of frustration. "Jade… I feel so weird, and I really don't feel like stopping right now."

I look at her and smile. "What you need, I can't do here," I said and pulled her up from the floor by the hand. She ran her fingers through my hair to fix it. Just as I reached up to fix her's the door to the youth room opened. Andre peeked in and turned on the light.

"They're coming." He said and the three of us just sat in the back of the room chattering as the rest of them came into the room.

"There you are!" Mrs. Symon said walking in. "Jade are you ready? We're working on your songs."

I nodded and walked over to the piano. We rehearsed the songs and I watched Tori, Andre and the rest of the cast go through their lines. Then it was my turn to sit around and do nothing. I pulled out my homework, so that i could work on that as I waited for Tori to be done, because just before Her parents left, Tori told them that I could drive her home from rehearsals. We'd leave here early, park by the playground or something, hang out a little and then I'd take her home.

I was so into my homework, that I didn't realize she was in front of me. "Jade west you're wasting precious time." She whispered in my ear.

I jumped and looked around the room. The cast was milling around just chattering. I put my books away, and she pulled me out of the room without anyone noticing we'd gone. "So, Your neighborhood right?" I asked driving out of the parking lot.

"Jade, let's go to the pool" She said. I looked at her like she was crazy it was early October. "The club house, I know how to get in."

"Vega, that's breaking and entering."

"Come on, live a little," she said and I laughed because she was the innocent one in this scenario but I was trying to be good.

"No law breaking, it is bad enough we will be loitering in the parking lot, okay?" I said as I pulled into her neighborhood.

"Fine." She said. The moment I pulled into the parking lot, she climbed into my back seat. "Come on, I only have an hour till I have to be home."

I laughed and stepped out of the car. I shook my head and got in the back seat. "You are such a dude." I said.

"Jade, I need you like I need to breathe." She said climbing up on my lap. "Sometimes I feel like dying when you have to go."

My heart pounded at her description, and my stomach flopped in my belly. Yes, love hurts, and that was just what this was. It was so soon, should I tell her? I reached my hand up and caressed her cheek. "I love you too, Tori."

"Is that what it is? Love?" I nodded and leaned forward to peck her lips. Her breathing was shallow when I pulled away. Her eyes took on this different look, one that I had seen before. Never this intense on Tori, though I had already been here before. "I want you Jade."

"I know Tori, " I answered, and kissed her long and deep, "but not today babe. It's not right." Her first time needed to be great, especially with me. That was not gonna happen in the back seat of my car.

We made out for a little while, and I allowed my hands to roam a little making sure to stay pretty neutral. Tori didn't have these reservations and her hands made its way under my skirt. I gasped and bit my lip as my hips pushed into her involuntarily. "What's it like, Jade?" her voice with a lustful undertone burred in my ear.

I pulled her hand away from under my skirt, and purred into her neck."What's, what like?"

I pinned her hands up above her head and began to nibble at her neck. "Sex."

"It's good…" I said nibbling at her ear lobe, "Well worth the wait." I whispered in it then pulled away and got out of the car. Leaving Tori breathless in the back seat. I couldn't take it anymore. I took a walk around the car several times in an attempt to cool off, then reentered the front seat.

She followed me to the front seat as I started the engine again. "Jade I'm so ready."

I didn't say anything and began to drive her home. "Mom's going to L.A. This weekend, why don't you come over and keep me company?" I said softly as I pulled into her driveway.

"My mom is gonna want you to stay with us." Tori said

"Don't tell her my mom won't be there." I whispered taking her hand. "I'll take care of you." I leaned forward and kissed her.

She smiled at me and stepped out of the car. "Thanks Jade."

I smiled and waved goodbye as she ran up to her door and went inside.

I couldn't help but quake in anticipation as I drove home. I was nervous, because I didn't know what to do. Sure I've had sex before… with a boy. I was ready for Tori, but I was nervous and I didn't want to be bad at this. She was looking to me for experience, but really in this case, I was just as much a virgin as she was. This could not be good.

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**A/N: I know, super short, I'm sorry. Please forgive me, I just needed to get myself unstuck here.**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Here is this chapter. I had some major things happen to me this weekend. It kept me from doing any kind of writing. Plus I was overrought with sadness at the demise of one of my fave shows. I am so worn out and tired this chapter took me all day to write. Don't get me wrong... It still isn't too long so don't get all excited. But I hope you like it. So Do like Jade and Tori do in this chapter, and make love to my review button. Yes... they did... hurry! Read and Review Please! Don't be shy.  
**

**Tell me what you really think. -S.K.  
**

* * *

**Make it happen**

On Friday afternoon I rang the doorbell at Tori's house. Mrs. Vega answered and smiled. "Hey Jade!"

"Hi Mrs. Vega." I said stepping into the house.

"My you look nice!" She said looking me over. I wore a dark blue sequined tank under my black Leather Jacket and pleated skirt. It isn't anything different from my usual, except my shoes. They are heals, and my hair is flat ironed making it come down to my mid back.

"Thanks. There's a school dance tonight. I was wondering if Tori could just come over to my house after and sleepover?" I asked covering all my bases.

"Sure… or you could come over…" She said. I smiled I had to dog sit someone's dog. The dog was a puppy, so mom let me bring it home. Mr. Vega was allergic to dogs.

"I have to dog sit," I stated. "Don't worry I won't let Tori come near the dog, or we'll wash her clothes before she leaves so that Mr. Vega won't get an allergic reaction."

Mrs. Vega smiled and relented. "Well Tori's in her room, you know where it is." I nodded and dashed up the stairs. I stepped into the room without knocking. Tori was in the adjoining bathroom not in the shower anymore but steam billowed from the open bathroom door.

I bit my lip and fought an urge to take a peek. No, it will be better tonight. So that I can get the full effect that she wants me to get. I looked at the clothes on the bed, and I saw that she had pretty underwear laid out on the bed. Suddenly I realized that I hadn't thought of what my underwear looked like. They didn't look that pretty nor did they match. I decided I had better let my presence be known before she stepped out here without a towel or something. "Babe…"

"Jade?" She said peeking out of the bathroom. Her hair was wrapped in a shower cap and in curlers.

"You got someone else to call you that?" I stated turning away from her. "I told your mom the truth, she's okay with you staying with me."

She smiled, "Really?" She stepped out in her towel and wrapped her arms around me in greeting.

"Ugh Tori, you're all wet stop hugging me." I said running my fingers through my bone straight hair. "And I'm dog sitting, I can't leave the puppy to just hang out with you the weekend."

Tori let go of me and began to take off her towel. "That's so—"

"Stop! I don't want to see that right now." I said in alarm and turned away.

"What?"

"You're naked!" I said and came toward me and came in front of me.

Just as I said this, the door to her room opened and Mrs. Vega peeked in. "Tori, you are making her uncomfortable."

"It isn't like she hasn't seen things like that before, She has her own." Tori answered reaching for her clothing. She looked at me with a puzzled expression. She will understand why I rejected looking tonight won't she?

"Don't worry about it, just hurry, Andre is waiting for us." I said looking down at my shoes.

"I'm so sorry Jade," Her mother said to me. "She's so…"

"Its okay, She's right." I shrugged, "I think I'll wait downstairs if that's okay." I looked up at Tori and she looked a little hurt. Crap, this is going to be hard to smooth over. I walked down the stairs and waited in the living room nursing a cup of coffee for what seemed like hours.

Finally she walked downstairs her hair the perfect cascade of curls down her back, which kind of covered the fact that her back was almost bare in this shirt that has a draped back and tied close to her body by strings that wrapped around her torso. Tori is a tomboy… I now realize this because I have yet to see her wear anything but pants and shorts. This time they were tights and knee-high boots. The shirt was blue the same color as mine. I smiled at her. "Wow Tori, you look really pretty." I said.

"Whatever, let's go." She said still pouting at me. I looked at her mother and she shrugged.

When we got out to my car, I opened the door for her, and she sat in tossing her overnight bag in the back seat, not even looking at me. I watched her and shut the door behind her then went over to my side and got in. "What's your problem?" I asked starting the car and backing out.

"If being with a girl grosses you out, Jade. Why don't you just tell me before I make a total fool of myself?"

I Stopped at the first stop sign abruptly and looked at her. "Oh My GOD!" I said.

"Stop using the Lords name in vain, Jade." She snapped at me. I snorted at the hypocrisy of the whole thing considering what we were discussing.

Someone honked at me I had stayed on the spot way too long and so I turned my attention back to the road and I said nothing until I was well on my way to Andre's house so that there would be no escaping the conversation we were about to have. "Are you a Christian Tori?" I asked her seriously. "I mean Really a Christian, not just because your Mom and dad are Christians."

She looks down at her hands as if she understands where I am headed with this. And I can feel her shut herself down to protect herself from me. As if I were going to be the one person that would call her sick, or perverted. "I… Don't know."

"Well I do know." I said softly. "I believe… because my mom couldn't make me go to church if I didn't want to." I answered.

"So, what does that mean for us?" Tori said softly. Tears threatening to ruin the flawless make up.

"I have some serious feelings here, Tori. I pray about them every day. " I said pulling into Andre's driveway. "The only thing I know for sure is that God gave me you, and I love you."

She smiled and leaned forward kissing me softly and tentatively. I deepened the kiss, trying to reassure her, that I would never think of her badly for the feelings she had for me. "Why were you like that back at the house?" She asked a little confused again.

"First off… Your parents and sister were home. Second, we have made plans to take care of your little itch… I didn't want to unwrap my gift too soon if you know what I mean." I paused and she laughed. "I could have gotten an eyeful before you even knew I was there, trust me I was tempted."

"I'm sorry." She said and squeezed my hand just as Andre stepped into the car.

"Hot Damn! I got a pair of hot girls for the dance." Andre said buckling up. "You guys look Hot as hell."

We smiled at him gratefully and I drove us off to the school.

* * *

"Riley! Hi Puppy!" I said walking into the house and heading straight for Riley's kennel. I let the Rottweiler puppy out of his kennel and loved on him a little bit. "Do you need anything buddy?" I asked checking his water.

Tori dropped to her knees next to me and reached out to the puppy. "Oh he is so sweet!"

"I know right?" I said and changed the paper in the kennel, while she kept the puppy distracted. "Now do I have to dry clean that shirt before it goes back to your house?"

"Oh…" She looked down at her shirt and frowned. "I'll take care of it."

I smiled and reached for the dog and put him to bed. She stood brushing excess shed off of her. I turned to her and kissed her softly. "Wait here… I have a surprise for you." I rush off to my room to get it ready.

After a few minutes, I returned to the kitchen to find that she had made me some Coffee. I smiled at her gratefully and took the coffee from her hands. I took a sip, and then kissed her softly. "Thank you." I whispered.

She moaned a little. "I love the taste of coffee from your mouth."

I chuckled and wrinkled my nose. "You're so weird."

She smiled back, "So are you."

"You have me there…" I said and I took her hand and led her to my room. When I opened the door, she took in a gasp as she looked at every steady surface of my very clean room was covered in candle light and there was a trail of rose petals toward the bed. I looked at her bewildered expression and smiled. "I think that every girl should have that dream first time. I didn't get mine, but maybe I can say this is my first. Which in some way, it sort of is, I've never been with a girl before."

She looked at me in awe. "I like that!" She said, and kissed me. "This is so pretty, I love this."

I smiled and led her closer to the bed. I had set up a picnic thing with some strawberries and chocolate. "I thought we could talk a little, so we could get comfortable." I said as we sat on the pillows at the foot of the bed.

We kicked off our shoes. We talked a little; she fed me straw berries… I fed her strawberries. We kissed a little. We touched a little, and then when it was getting seriously hot and heavy, she excused herself to go to the bathroom.

I was a little hot and bothered… but then I remembered that I didn't really have the prettiest of underwear so I took my tights and panties off then slipped a thong that Beck had gotten me on my body and slipped off my bra.

Tori was still in the bathroom when I was done, and I was glad at first because I really wanted to get the underwear changed, but now it was taking too long. I walked to the bathroom and knocked at the door. "Babe… are you okay?"

"Jade… I can't do this." She said. There was a hint of panic in her voice and I nearly died of disappointment because she had me so hot and bothered.

"Um… okay." I said taking a deep breath. "We don't have to do anything. Just come out and let's go to sleep just like any other time."

She opened the door standing in her panties and I let down a little bit. I sighed and bit my lip trying to suppress a moan. "I didn't bring PJ's… didn't think I'd need them."

I laughed at that and shook my head. I walked over to my dresser and handed her a nightshirt. I began to undress in front of her, and she gasped when she saw that I was wearing no bra as well. Then a moan escaped her when she saw the thong. Then she pouted and closed the door behind her.

When she came out of the bathroom, I was busy blowing out candles on the dresser. "Don't turn them off…" She said. I stopped and looked at her. "It's just so pretty can we talk and cuddle by candle light."

No… we can't… I was so frustrated and I was so ready for her now. I had to cool down. I don't want to cuddle. "Sure babe." I said with a smile and a calmness that I really didn't feel.

I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her and kissed her neck. Then I walked us just like that over to the bed. Once we lay down I just held her. "Jade I am so sorry-"

"Don't worry about it." I interrupted. "If you were not ready there was no reason to rush to it."

She turned to face me and she pressed her forehead to mine. "You are the perfect girlfriend." She whispered.

I laughed, "I'm hardly perfect." I reached up and pulled my fingers through her hair.

"If you were a dude, you would have thrown me out on my ass by now." She said.

"Don't be so sure I still wouldn't do that." I said with a smirk. She reached out and pinched my half naked ass. "Ow."

"You'd throw me out?"

"Mmm… No, if I did I wouldn't be able to call my best friend and talk trash about you because you're it."

She smiled and kissed me softly. "I just kind of… I wanted… " She couldn't even finish her thought and I couldn't help but chuckle. "It isn't funny!"

"I don't know what you're trying to tell me." I said placing my hand on the dip of her waist.

"Oh god…" she whispered a little. "Okay, so every time I think about us you know… I get this rush… and then this gush… and then this smell…"

I giggled… GIGGLED… that is so not me but I couldn't help it. "Oh… Tori"

"Stop… it isn't funny!" She began to argue and I kissed her quiet. I pressed my body against her and I flipped myself on top of her.

My hip pressed against hers. My lips finding their way from her mouth, to her jaw, to her neck while I whispered. "There is nothing wrong with you. You smell because you want me. I love that smell. I want that smell."

"Do you smell?" She said reaching for the hem of my nightshirt. I let her pull it off of me and I sit up straddling her.

"You tell me?" I asked her, as she couldn't help but reach out and take my breast in her hands. I moaned, and she took a deep breath.

"I see what you mean." She said, and then flipped us over so that now I was at the bottom. She removed her own nightshirt and crashed her lips into mine. "Let's do this." She said once she pulled back.

I looked at her breathless, and all I know was that this was the most surreal situation I had ever been in. Tori made love to me hungrily, as if she had done it before. She ravished me and I wondered how she knew what I liked. "Wow..." I said once I could speak.

"Really?" She asked with a smile.

I laughed and shook my head out of this dream. "Tori… I thought you were a virgin."

"I am… I mean I was…" She stammered looking at me then dropped her gaze. "I read a lot."

I laughed. "Then you would know you're still a virgin." I said taking over the situation. I loved her like she loved me, slow, and special and deliberate. I should have never been so nervous about knowing what to do. I knew what felt good, there was no doubt she would enjoy whatever I would do.

When I was done, Tori lay next to me extremely quiet it was eerie because she went really quiet just before there was a gush to tell me she was cumming, her legs began to shake and her toes curled. But I don't know what her being this quiet means. I can't get her to shut up most of the time, and I was wondering if this was just what she does.

"Babe?" I asked quietly. "You okay?"

"Jaaaaaade…" Tori began to cry.

"Oh my… " I panicked. "What happened?"

"I'm going to go to hell…" She said and buried her head on my shoulder, and I realized that… Tori didn't know what to think of what she had done, we had done. I had come to terms with it, she had not thought about it at all and she just wanted what she wanted. Now that she had it… She was a very bad girl… in her own mind.

"God gave me you." I whispered. "I love you, and so does he."

"If this is wrong…" she started, "I'll go to hell happily."

I smiled at her sadly and I held her to me, and she cried. So did I.

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**A/N: so... sorry, I didn't go graphic just didn't seem right in this story. I hope you liked this instalment anyway, and if you didn't go ahead and yell at me I can take it!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: A little uncomfortable morning after the morning after... this is short... not so sweet. We deal with a point of view that is not very comfortable. This story... is coming to a close. wow it was fast like their relationship. Okay so i am reading some pretty amazing things now a days... I wish I could remember the names dang it but they are awesome. One by a guy named "Closest I get" by Sirrryesssir it is a future fic that I love love love. Anywhoo... Review.. Don't be shy.  
**

**Tell me what you really think. -S.K.**

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**Sunday Morning**

"Oh…"I panted. I couldn't catch my breath. My cheeks were flushed and I was fighting the shout that was about to emerge from my lips. "Tori… Tori." I whispered.

Her hands gripped at my naked sweaty thighs and stilled my hips. "You taste so good." She whispered against me. I bit my lip as my eyes rolled to the back of my head.

A phone buzzed by my head, it was the third freaking time, and I just couldn't contain myself any longer. "Fuck! Tori, answer your phone."

She pulled her mouth away from me and sat up replacing her tongue with her fingers. She worked me over with her right hand as she grasped the phone in her other hand. "Try to be quiet babe." She said with a devilish grin at my direction.

Yeah that was easy for her to say, she wasn't the one laying on her back biting the back of her hand to keep for screaming. I groaned softly just as she answered her phone. "Hi mom!" Her voice sent shivers through my being this was so wrong, but god it felt so good. "Jade is right here, I was eating, and I missed your other calls."

I laughed, almost forgetting what was happening, until she pressed down on my center causing me to moan loudly. "Oh GOD!"

"Oh, she just got a run on her tights… Yeah I know." She paused and listened. "We are coming, we're getting ready now!" she said. "Can't I just hang with her till her mom comes home?"

I was so close I was so close, I tried really hard not to speak, "Yes, yes yeees…" I hissed under my breath. My hips moved of their own accord now. I was so close.

"But mom!" Tori said beginning to increase her speed. My leg began to shake. "Hey… mom… Jade needs my help with the puppy… I… I'll call you later." She hung up and dropped the phone leaning forward and increasing her speed bracing herself for the massive tremor that overtook my body.

"God… Oh God… Oh… yes." I said glad that I was released from torturous silence as my entire body shook and stiffened in pleasure. "You're the best, better than anyone else." I whispered as she collapsed on top of me. Our bodies pressed against one another. Our heart's beating as one.

She kissed the side of my head as she slipped her fingers out of me and moved her damp hand to my hip as she hitched herself upward so that she could kiss me. "you are bliss personified you know that?" She whispered to me. "A thing of pure beauty to watch when you cum."

I blushed a little more and turned to kiss her. "Sorry I couldn't keep quiet. I'm just not freaky like you. I wish I could just shut up."

She smiled softly then pecked my lips again. "We have to go… My mom wants me at church in thirty minutes."

I sighed as she pulled away from me and headed for the bathroom. I watched her bare butt as she walked and bit my lip. "Wait up Tori, I'm coming with you." I said running after her to the bathroom.

We arrived at church just in time for the sermon. When we found out the subject of the sermon we blanched as the subject was about homosexuality. It was all about how that life style was not in God's plan. Tori sat stark still staring at the pastor. She didn't even try to hold my hand. She stared stoically at him a frown steadily growing on her face. I stopped listening; I was so worried about her. She was pallid. Andre looked at her with concern in his eyes as well. That is until we heard the pastor say. "I'm going to tell you the truth… are you ready for this? God LOVES Homosexuals."

My head swiveled back toward him. Concern for Tori forgotten for a second as he continued to speak "Not their homosexuality-but we have to remember that every person caught up in homosexuality is a face, a name, a son, a daughter, a family member, a friend."

I can feel Tori relax slightly next to me, so I place my full attention on this sermon now. This was something I needed to hear. "Just as we have friends caught up in other sin-just as God wants everyone to repent and be his children. God loves those are in the homosexual lifestyle."

"As a church, too often our response has been a refusal to reach out and love these people. We have set this sin in a different category as other sins-and God does not do that." He keeps saying it's a sin… but I talk to Him, I asked him to gide me through this… how could I be sinning?

"The truth is that God loves imperfect people and wants to meet the needs they are trying to fill in their lives. He wants to give them peace, and joy, and love and meaning. But they cannot be Christ followers and continue in that sin." I love my God… why can't I follow him? I wondered as I listened now.

"He sees each and every person in the homosexual community as one of his children that needs to be brought home. As God's People We have to provide a place for people to experience God's love. God never ask us to change, and then come to him. He doesn't say that those who run a perfect race get the prize. He says if we will follow Him-he will transform us. His spirit in us will make the difference. If we will run the race and finish-we get the prize." I stood up from the pew, and walked out of church. I had to think.

"Jade?" Tori said running after me.

"He gave me you…" I said through gritted teeth. "Why did he give me you?"

"Jade…" She whispered trying to stop a sob from spilling from her.

"I DON'T NEED FIXING TORI! I love my GOD." I shouted and I headed straight for my car. Tori caught up to me and wrapped her arms around me and held me. "I love my God." I began to cry. "He gave me you."

"And he gave me you," She whispered. "That is all that matters."

"Tori." Her father called out to her and she jumped away from me.

I looked at her family standing at the door to the building. They couldn't have heard what I said could they have? "What's the matter with Jade?" her mother asked. I guess not.

I turned away and I heard Tori say. "Please let me go with her… one of her friends back home is gay, she's having a hard time with it."

"Okay, Be home by nine." Her parents said, and I heard her feet pound the pavement and come back to me.

"Bye!" She shouted, and then wrapped her arms around me. And continued to walk me to my car. "Lets get you home, baby. I love you." She soothed and helped me to the driver's side.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: There is some serious discussion going on. I am loving this... I have to say, there was this Guest reviewer that totally got where I was going with this, and I took his review because it was so concise and I included it in the text of this chapter. Thank you so much Guest reviewer you are awesome. there were some other wonderful discussions with me. Just so you know I read every review and I answer to every review which invites a good discussion. I want to thank you all who do review. The followers, the readers because if I didn't have you, I wouldn't ever be this great. So thanks.**

**And another thing... Review! Don't be shy.**

**Tell me what you really think. - S.K.**

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**Coming to terms**

Tori and I walked silently along a boardwalk. I drove all the way to Alexandria, about thirty minutes away from church. She didn't say anything and frankly I didn't know what I would want her to say. It was just so comfortable having her around.

I stopped and leaned on the railing looking out at the Potomac. My forearms sliced by the railing, they hurt, but it was subdued some how. Like they were half numb. I pressed down to feel the pain. I knew I was going to bruise but I didn't really care I wanted to feel something.

Tori leaned into the railing with her back against it, and reached out to stop me from hurting myself. She took my arms and she stroked the lines where the railing had creased the skin then she pulled me against her and whispered. "Tell me what you're thinking babe."

I don't say anything for a few seconds because I wasn't thinking. I didn't know what to think. I didn't know how to reconcile the fact that My God gave me someone to love that I couldn't love; at least not as deeply as I do. I looked up into her warm brown eyes. She was sad too. Of course she was, she was really dealing with things that were new to her. She had the same pain, and she was facing it. I kissed her lips, just a peck. "I am so proud of you, I love you." I said.

She blinked at me, and then smiled. "I love you too." She looked around the boardwalk. "What do you want to do now Jade?"

"I don't care, as long as I am with you." I said.

"Okay, come with me." She said pulling me toward the park. "I saw a rainbow over here. And there were a bunch of other kids hanging out." She explained as she pulled me along.

"Whoa, Tori." I said stopping her progress. "I don't want to hang out with a bunch of other people."

"No… Listen. I heard one of the guys talking to another kid, and I want to ask him something."

"Fine Tori," I said following her lead and we reached a clearing in the park. It was a Christian youth group. I planted my feet and refused to move any further.

"Jade… It's different I promise. Didn't you hear them when we walked by?" She plead with me.

"I didn't even realize we were here until you pulled me into your arms a minute ago." I answered.

"Fine, wait here." Tori said and headed to a guy who was talking to some teens. He was bald by choice and wore a goatee. He held a bible in his hands and clutched at it as if it were his life raft. Well I supposed that if you were a Christian that is exactly what your bible would be.

She began talking animatedly with her hands. She seemed to be telling him a very long and involved story. Then she looked at me, and his eyes softened toward me. He smiled kindly and nodded at Tori then they began to walk toward me. "Babe… This is Gabriel. He is the youth group pastor for this church." Tori said

Gabriel placed his bible under his armpit and extended both hands out to me, and took my right hand into his making a Jade sandwich. His hands were warm and soft. I looked unto his green eyes, which regarded me with so much warmth I blushed. "Nice to meet you." He said.

I nodded because I certainly didn't know what I could say. "I told him our story, and what we heard in church today." Tori said as they pulled me over to a near by bench.

"Your story," he started, "is like opening up a Pandora's box. I understand what it feels like, as a gay Christian it is difficult when what you hear is that you are an abomination."

"I don't need fixing." I stated flatly.

"No you don't." he stated, "Listen, there comes a point where you have to just come to peace with who you are. It was not long ago that I began to heal and to come to peace with it."

"You're gay…" I stated looking at his bible. "And you are okay with the object of your devotion thinking you are damaged?"

"Why not? You are…" he said.

"I am not." I said.

"But you are… because I know that you had thought about just stopping and going straight. I'm sure your girlfriend has." I looked at Tori then back at him. I had thought of it. "But then you looked at her and your love for her is so overwhelming that you can't bring yourself to stop."

I looked down at my lap I was so much more confused now. "He gave me her…"

"Yes he did. Here is some food for thought." He said as he started thumbing through his bible. "Homosexuality was not the sin of Sodom, being inhospitable. Sodom was evil all around; That was just the thing that stuck out more because those men wanted to do evil to the angels, not because they were looking for men to be with."

I looked up at him and remembered the whole story and he was right. That was exactly why the end of Sodom was spelled out. "Never thought of it like that. They always seem to single that out."

He nodded then continued pointing at another page. "Romans 1, was written to a new church in a time when idolaters practiced ritual homosexuality, not loving exclusive homosexual relationships that he had no concept of. What he was against was the sexual immorality of sleeping around without emotional binds." He pointed this out and again I realized the veracity in his words. "In this case, he saw the first sin as being idolatry and homosexual desires was the punishment."

"Babe, what Paul or any other Christian would have thought about what we share, is not necessarily what God thinks."

"What about treating this as some sin, like lying or stealing," I stated looking at Gabriel now. I was lifted; maybe I could be me with my girl and my God. "I mean… Leviticus…"

"They are a result of societal constructs that forbade men from stooping to the level of women by being with a man, especially as the passive partner." He shook his head. "Like I'm sure you have, I have prayed and searched and praise God I have come to a place where I can finally be at peace that He loves me as I am and maybe even made me that way for a reason, for His glory."

I smiled, and in a rush of sheer Joy and peace I hugged Gabriel. "Thank you."

"Come see us any time. Our church is just over there…" He said pointing to a Methodist church at the end. "The youth group meets every Saturday to do some community service."

"We will…" Tori said taking my hand and we walked away. Tori skipped, the talk seemed to be the thing she needed as well. I was happy truly happy. I pulled her to me and held her tightly. I pulled my head back and kissed her tenderly then pressed my forehead against hers. "Lets get you home… we have to check on the Puppy."

"Oh my god the Puppy!" I said and raced Tori to my car.


	10. Chapter 10

**Rocked My World**

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I stayed with Tori the day before the Play. We had now been going out for the better part of three months; it was surreal once I decided that I was at peace with everything. We frequented the other Youth group on Saturdays when we didn't have rehearsals… Okay let me rephrase that… I missed some of the rehearsals if Tori wasn't going to go.

It felt great to share our lives and belief system in the presence of others. I didn't feel wrong anymore, and I never felt closer to God.

"Tori!" Mrs. Vega said coming down the stairs from her bedroom. She was Decked out like a queen.

"Wow Mom, you look so good!" Tori said taking her hands off of my thigh. She and Mr. Vega were going to go out for their Anniversary and stay over night in a posh Hotel in D.C. Trina was at a friend's sleepover, which left Tori and I at home.

"Yeah Mrs. Vega, You look really hot." I chimed in. Mrs. Vega smiled, she didn't really know what to make of me anymore. It seems like she knows something. Ever since that whole Sermon ordeal she's been finding ways to ask Tori to not be around me beyond school. In a subtle way though, like she knows what I know... And that is, that Tori and I love each other.

"Thank you Jade, " She answered and looked to her daughter. Tori and I were lounging on their couches watching some movie on the TV. I spent so much time on this couch; Mrs. Vega usually included me in everything. It was like having a real family. Well… you know, I love Joanne… but she has to travel a lot for the State Department, and I am left alone a lot. "There is money on the counter for pizza. We will see you two at church in the morning we don't want to miss your show."

"Okay Mom," Tori said and gave her mother a hug just as Mr. Vega came down the stairs. "Whoa DAD! Looking good." She said hugging him.

"Thanks baby." He said giving his daughter a hug. Then he reached out to me for a five. I really liked Mr. Vega so I slapped his hand gladly. I have to explain, he looks at me like he knows I love his daughter too… but he doesn't seem to have a problem with it at all. "See you girls tomorrow, don't do anything I wouldn't do."

I looked at Tori, and Tori shuddered, knowing full well she had every intention on doing exactly what he was going to do, and did not want the image in her head. I smirked and leaned back on the couch scrolling through my PearPhone to order dinner.

When they walked out Tori dropped back on to the couch. "Finally…" She said and pushed me back, laying my head back on the arm of the couch. "Did you get dinner?"

"Mmm, Hmmm" I said placing my phone on her coffee table as she crawls the length of my body.

"How long do we have?" she said kissing my neck.

"Twenty, thirty minutes." I mumble turning my head to give her better access.

"Is that enough time?" She asked.

"As long as our clothes stay on." I stated as her Jean clad thigh slipped between my legs my skirt up around my waist. I sighed as she pressed her self on to me.

"I. Want. You." She said between kisses. Then she laid one on me, as her hand found its way up my skirt and down my tights. She began to do the things that were usually reserved for the privacy of my back seat and my bedroom. I realized this was the first time we had done this anywhere else, and it was here in the living room.

With this thought, what she was doing seemed to intensify. I threaded my fingers through her hair. I tilted her head up and I kissed her deeply. She moaned against me as she continued her assault on my center. She swallowed my moans with kisses and soon I began to convulse and stiffen. In the throws of a particularly intense wave, the doorbell rang, and she was gone. "Fuck…" I mumbled and tried to stand up but I couldn't I was going to get her and good.

Click, click, click.

I took a deep breath, and shifted a bit under the weight of Tori's body. Her chest pressed to mine. She shifted a little too and her thigh grazed a very sensitive area. I hissed then moaned a little.

Click, click, click.

I freeze when I realize what the sound I am hearing is. I don't open my eyes because I don't want to see. But the one taking the pictures finally speaks. "Gotcha!"

I opened my eyes and said, "Trina…" Just above a whisper.

"I can't believe you would seduce my sister. She was innocent until you came here." Trina stated angrily.

"Please… I will leave her alone, I promise just don't tell your parents." I plead as quietly as I could.

It wasn't enough because at that moment Tori woke and looked up into my eyes. "Babe, you're shaking"

"Please Trina…" I said at that Tori perked up and sat all the way up.

"TRINA! Give me your phone!" Tori got out of bed naked as the day she was born.

"Eww Tori! You're Naked!" I heard the older girl scream.

I slipped out of the bed and dressed as I listened to the two sisters argue. I listened to Tori plead. Then I listen to Tori beg. "Pleas Trina I love her, if you tell they will take her away from me. I can't live without her."

I walked up to a sobbing Tori and wrapped her in her robe. Then I held her for a while and I looked up at Trina. "What do you want from us Trina?"

"You come out to my parents, or I'll out you myself." Trina said.

"I'll come out to them." I said. "And I'll go away…"

"NO!" Tori said, "You can't go… I'll run away I swear please Trina…"

"I'll come out, if you don't tell them we had sex." I said.

"Deal," Trina said and walked away. "Once you're out, I'll delete the pics."

I looked at Tori and kneeled in front of her. I stroked her cheek. "But… Jade, I was the one to…"

"I know… It's okay. Then one day when you go to college and find the girl of your dreams I hope you'll remember your first girl."

She leaned forward and kissed me and when the kiss ended I just held her and rocked her for a long time.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Sorry about the long wait on this... I have not been motivated to do this at all but I think I did something decent here... and this is the last chapter there will be an epilogue if you want it... tell me what you would like to see in it. maybe by the time I sit down to pen it I will have your suggestions handy. Enjoy- S.K.**

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**Out**

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As we sang the last notes in the musical, my nerves finally hit me. I broke down and cried in front of the entire congregation. Tori rushed to me and wrapped her arms around me.

This only intensified my pain. "Don't hold me please don't hold me." I whispered in her ear.

"I love you Jade, I can't let you go through this alone." She whispered back.

"Jade… What's wrong?" The pastor said coming up to me and placing a hand on my shoulder.

"This will be my last Sunday at this church. I want to let you know that I have come to love it here. But I can't stay." I swallowed another sob and I looked out at a waiting and concerned congregation that included my confused mother. "I can't live a lie any longer. I am in love with someone, that I should not be in love with. I have prayed about it, and in my heart I know God understands."

I took a deep breath and looked around the room and my eyes landed on Trina's smug look. She had the phone in her hands as I spoke and she flashed me a picture of Tori and I. "I am bisexual. I am in love with a girl." I stated and watched her press delete.

I looked over at their mother and father. David did not look surprised, but Holly went a little ashen. "I'm sorry to all of whom I have deceived. Especially my best friend Tori." I turned to face her. She looked at me with all the love she had behind her eyes.

She clenched my hand to her and refused to let me go. Then Andre walked closer to us and they made a Jade sandwich out of me. Their embrace brought newfound tears to my eyes. And I felt Tori kissed the side of my face and neck.

As she did so, I looked up and saw Mr. Vega approach us. He looked at me, then at his daughter, and he took us both in his embrace. "Don't worry I'll stop hanging out with Tori." I said.

"Nah." He whispered, "just no more sleepovers. Tori isn't supposed to date."

"What?"

"That was really a brave thing you did," Mrs. Vega said from behind me and I turned to face her. "You need friends now more than ever. Jade we love you… but if you feel uncomfortable in the church, find another, don't leave because this makes you uncomfortable. God loves you no matter what."

I smiled at her, and her eyes were kind. I hugged her; she squeezed me. "Thank you."

"Do you love her?" She whispered in my ear.

"More than anything." I whispered back.

"Good… because she loves you so much." As she said that I turned to my girlfriend and smiled. Behind her was my mother. She was stoic, still in shock. I don't know I thought she would be more open-minded. I never worried about her reaction to this.

Behind us the Pastor prayed and released the congregation. And before he could get to me Andre, Tori, her parents and my mother swept me out of the church. Once we were outside Mom gave me a hug nice and tight. "That was a hard thing you did… but where will you go now?"

I looked up at her and smiled. "I know a really great church in Alexandria." I said softly.

"Well that's a bit of a commute…" She said then kissed my forehead.

"Jade…" I heard from behind me. I turned to look at Tori. "I love you, see you tomorrow at school."

"You bet!"


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N:I love love love that you guys have read my little controversial story. I am happy to bring this little epiloge to you. again thank you I love you and it has been a privilige to share some of my beliefs with you. Thanks, S.K.**

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**Epilogue**

Tori is finally ready to date. She is allowed to date me. For two years we had been… waiting. Now we were headed to college, and we were going to be roommates, and she was finally allowed to date.

It's not to say that she and I didn't get really close to breaking this rule actually we outright broke the rule whenever we were alone long enough. We were never allowed out without Andre, but he would conveniently get lost and we would find ourselves lost in kisses.

Our parent's knew we were dating, and were not surprised that the day Tori turned eighteen last February, She was allowed to date… but she wasn't allowed to date me… because I was still seventeen.

July has finally come, Happy birthday to me. I rushed to her house early that morning and before I could step out of my car Tori was out of her front door and running toward me.

She Jumped into my arms and wrapped herself around me Kissing my face. I hung on to her for a bit before I stumbled backward onto my car. "Tori, let the girl stand on her own two feet." Mrs. Vega said with a chuckle.

I let Tori go and smiled at her family. "I don't mind." I said softly.

"Happy birthday Jade." Her mother said coming to me and giving me a hug effectively disengaging Tori from me.

"Thanks," I said then reached for Tori's hand. Mr. Vega Smiled at me and waved. I smiled back. "Just glad to finally go out on a date with my girl."

"Who are you kidding?" Mr. Vega said, "You've been dating for two years."

Tori kissed my hand then winked at her dad. "Come on Babe, I have lots of things planned for you today."

I looked at Tori, she knows I don't really like surprises she tucked hair behind my ear and kissed me softly again. This was real. This was actually happening. I was blessed with love and I couldn't be happier.


End file.
